[00:00:28] – Frankie
Hello. You’re listening to the Doing It For The Kids podcast, where we swear a bit too much and talk a bit too fast about freelance life with kids in the mix. I’m Frankie, and this is Steve.

[00:00:45] – Steve
Hello. Yes, each episode we take a question from the Doing It For The Kids community, but we start each episode by looking back at the last one. It was a while back, but the last episode was…?

[00:00:56] – Frankie
It was about whether you need to be on social media to market yourself as a freelancer or not.

[00:01:01] – Steve
Jo Higgs. Hey.

Jo says,

“I’ve had great success with social media in the last six months. I get why people don’t like it, but I actually enjoy it now.”

Actually, Jo has been great on social media!

[00:01:13] – Frankie
Proof’s in the text-based pudding.

[00:01:15] – Steve
Mm, pudding…

[00:01:16] – Frankie
Dave Smyth says,

“At the other end of the spectrum, I’ve been completely social media free for a little over a year now. It’s been a process. I ditched Facebook, then Twitter, and finally got rid of LinkedIn and Mastodon.”

That name, seriously? Sorry.

Dave continues,

“How do I get work? 1. Word of mouth. Either freelancers in adjacent fields or previous clients. 2. Collaborations. There’s a developer I often work with and we often bring each other in for other projects, and I’ve had people in other disciplines bring me in, too. 3. Communities on Circle, Discord, Slack, newsletter ads, and 4. Visibility through being an official partner with some tech that I use. This has worked well for my situation.

I do also think it’s possible to show personality and human-ness without showing your face. I haven’t had a headshot on my website ever, in 11 years. It’s probably a positive thing to show it, but I think there are other ways to demonstrate that you exist.

Lastly, there are other things I could have done more of — gone heavy into SEO, create service or industry-specific landing pages, build a newsletter, et et cetera. Those are things I don’t particularly want to invest time and energy in, but they might work for you.”

[00:02:30] – Steve
Nina got in touch, she says,

“I think social media definitely has its uses. It’s just a case of putting it into perspective and using it strategically rather than assuming that posting on it — and only doing that — will get you all the clients you need. And also, different strategies work for different people, businesses, and industries. So just because someone you know gets all their clients on social media doesn’t mean that’s the best way to promote your business. I need to remind myself of these facts constantly!”

[00:02:56] – Frankie
And it’s a double Dave.

David Horn says,

“I’m not adding anything new here, but as far as socials go — I’m only on LinkedIn and have completely failed to land a client from there, even though I show my face and even though I do now post regularly. I think there have been benefits in terms of visibility, and I like to have an active profile (because I’m reasonably sure that potential clients look at my profile and output there) but no work has come directly from it.

I have a strong enough long-held customer base who recommend me, and I’m a member of a few communities that help. If I were starting again, I would invest more time and effort into communities like this one and plenty of others rather than social media. I would also work to build an email marketing list. I think that’s a stronger marketing tool than social media, not least because you can own the data and you’re not platform dependent for your audience.”

[00:03:42] – Steve
So true. And yet equally — how do you get people on your list, without them knowing you exist?

[00:03:49] – Frankie
Yes. Good question.

[00:03:50] – Steve
And on the topic of not spending all your time promoting your business on social media, Mel Barfield said in caps lock,

“I FEEL ATTACKED.”

[00:08:25] – Frankie
Episode 111 comes from Louise Jenkins. Louise supports women with the transition into motherhood. Yes! She also develops and facilitates workshops in partnership with organisations working to end violence against women and girls. Double yes. Her website is thebirthandmotherhoodcollective.co.uk

Louise asks,

“Hi, Frankie and Steve.

With wildling now at school, technically, I have more time available to me spread out over a full week.

*Chokes on tea because we all know more time is bullshit. Have you seen the amount of school-related admin there is?*

Anyway, so far, so good. But I need help managing this new found time and how to make the best of it, I suppose.

I’m battling with setting boundaries and how to approach and commit to new or potential partners and clients, as well as finding space for myself, too. I’m slowly finding a groove, but would love to know how you and everybody in Doing It For The Kids has found this shift.

Thanks, Louise.”

[00:09:18] – Steve
So how to make the best of more time.

[00:09:23] – Frankie
Yeah, so we have another episode, I can’t remember which one it is, about shifting into working in school hours. But from memory, I think that was more about having more days but in compressed hours because they were used to longer nursery days. Whereas for Louise, it’s very much — she’s had very little childcare up until this point, and suddenly she’s like, “Oh!”

[00:09:42] – Steve
“Hello!”

[00:09:43] – Frankie
“I have time now?!” Yeah.

[00:09:44] – Steve
First of all, it feels like more time — and it is more time if you’ve had no time — but having a plan as to what you’re going to do with that more time is important. Because otherwise the more time, it just vanishes! The mornings seem to go quite long, but then that bit after lunch… Didn’t we once say about having an early lunch?

[00:10:06] – Frankie
We did! Have lunch at 11am.

[00:10:07] – Steve
Yes. Because the afternoon — the bit between lunch and pickup — just BOOM. It’s gone. It’s nothing.

I don’t know. I mean, you’re much more in this at the moment… What do you think?

[00:10:17] – Frankie
I mean… She talks about boundaries. I think boundaries is key. In my instance, mainly I’m talking about boundaries with myself! Yes, I think what you’ve already said is right Steve, and I think what Louise is saying — or suggesting — is right, in that you don’t want to get a bit over-excited with this time.

I mean, yes, relative to what you’ve had, you’ve got tonnes of it. But I’d be very, very wary of taking on way too much. Particularly if you haven’t accounted for the, “Oh, a random two week break!! COOL” element of it.

I very much work on a half-term basis. So it’s like a 6 to 8 week window.

So how long is this thing going to take me? Can I complete that within one of those windows? Do I need to push it into the next window? And therefore, do I need to communicate that with my client if I’m unable to work over the holidays?

Yeah, I feel like it took… So my son is now in year five. (Oh, my God!!) And my daughter is in year one. But I honestly feel like it’s taken me maybe up until last year to actually accept that’s the way I have to work. So I guess I want Louise to know this now rather than make all the mistakes like I did and only really get into a rhythm much later on.

And I know there’s an element of that whatever. We all have to find our own rhythm. But I think plotting out your academic year, like getting a massive wall calendar and putting all the holidays on there now (the school should have it all available at this point for you to block out!) — even just doing that makes you realise how much time you actually have available to you. And therefore, when you’re having those conversations with new and potential clients, you have that knowledge and understanding of not only the hours you’re working within daily, but how that fits into these blocks of half terms.

[00:12:03] – Steve
And just be upfront with partners, clients, whoever it is, as to what that looks like. So if somebody’s saying, “Oh, can we get this done by this date?” And then you look in your diary and you go, “Actually, I think it’s going to have to be the blah, blah date because of half term.”

[00:12:20] – Frankie
Oh totally. I mean, Louise is working with people transitioning into motherhood.

[00:12:24] – Steve
Oh, of course!

[00:12:24] – Frankie
In her situation, everyone’s going to get it. Obviously, we’re talking more general terms as well.

[00:12:30] – Steve
So setting boundaries, as Frankie says. Yes, with yourself, with your clients, but also with anybody else in your life really. It can be possible — even for well-meaning relatives, for example — to come knocking thinking, “Oh, you’ve got all this time! I’ll come round for coffee” or whatever. When, in fact, you’re planning to crack on with some work.

And like you say, finding space for yourself whatever that looks like. That might literally be having a proper lunch break and then maybe reading for half an hour, or you might be somebody who wants to go for a run or to the gym. Yeah, it’s very possible for it all just to become, “Right! Get back — work, work, work… Oh, quick, tidy up. Put this on. Do a bit of housework type stuff” and suddenly it’s the school run again.

So — planning that time. Protecting that time. And then being realistic about how much you can do in that time is good as well.

[00:13:25] – Frankie
In terms of the boundaries side of it and finding time for yourself. Both of my kids are now at school Monday to Friday, but my out-of-office says that I work in school hours, for a start. But I also do not work on a Friday. Which isn’t always true! But at least, you know, externally, people aren’t hassling me on a Friday.

So… 1. If I am working, I can just get on with it. Less emails, basically. Or 2. Ideally, I like to spend a bit of time on a Friday doing something for myself. I try and protect one day a week. I don’t know. I feel like I can do stuff for myself more guilt-free if my out-of-office says I’m not working? I know that sounds ridiculous. I should be able to do that whenever! But psychologically, it helps me that everybody I’m dealing with knows that that’s the scenario.

[00:14:12] – Steve
I don’t feel like we’ve mentioned this in a long time… But one of my favourite things to remember when doing all of this is to leave ‘wiggle room’.

[00:14:25] – Frankie
Yes!

[00:14:25] – Steve
Come on! [Steve sings] “Wiggle it, just a little bit!” Oh, that feels better to get that out of my system.

Yeah, wiggle room is the fact that stuff will ‘go wrong’, in quotation marks, in your week, in your day. There will be times when suddenly your child is off school because they’ve got a stomach ache or whatever, or the road has flooded and there’s no water in the school, and suddenly they’ve got the day off… All of these things have happened!

Yeah, you’ve got to have some form of wiggle room across your day so that you can absorb that stuff, but also across your week. Because if you only ever get your diary and squeeze every minute out of it with work and life, then there’s no room for all that other stuff, which will — it’s inevitable — it will happen. And if you get a clear bit of the week where it hasn’t happened, then that’s more time for you or more time to work on your business.

[00:15:33] – Frankie
I feel like your biggest risk, Louise, is running away with it and taking on too much and burning out. And you don’t want that. You want to be measured about it (which is rich coming from me because that’s not something that comes naturally!) But yeah, looking at the school holidays, looking at the actual hours you have available to you within the school hours. Are you going to have any after-school provision or not or help from family or friends?

Try and do a big research, data collecting exercise about what it’s going to actually look like for you during term times. That will help you make decisions about committing to new clients and carving out space for yourself because it’ll be much easier to chop up your week when you actually know what time you have available.

It feels like a lot of time, but like Steve says, sometimes — in reality — it’s not quite as vast as it may appear. Especially if it’s anything like me where the school run… Just getting my kids to school can sometimes be completely draining. Some days, in theory, I can sit down and crack on. But actually, I need an hour to just… recover. Sometimes I just need to sit on the sofa and stare at the wall for a bit.

[00:16:47] – Steve
Do you know what? I think there’s a crucial and very short sentence in what you have said Louise, which is, “I’m slowly finding a groove”. Which is great, because it’s your way. Like, paying attention to what works for you, adjusting to it, and not expecting to rush into finding an immediate answer. And also bear in mind the fact that it will all change as your child gets older as well.

[00:17:14] – Frankie
I mean, that’s just a mantra for parenting isn’t it? “I’m slowly finding a groove”.

[00:17:17] – Steve
Yeah. And then just as you’ve found it — everything changes again.

[00:17:21] – Frankie
Yeah.

[00:17:23] – Steve
But that’s cool, so long as you know that! I remember very early on in primary finding the holidays overwhelming. But really, that was just because I hadn’t planned it properly. I hadn’t planned my workload, I hadn’t planned activities for them. That was A LOT. And when I took better control of that, I just enjoyed everything much better.

[00:17:48] – Frankie
I can relate to that. My approach was just denial about the holidays, and I really wouldn’t recommend that. I really wouldn’t. If I was me, again, I’d be like, “No — write all of that down. Accept that that is happening. And what are you going to do about that? Are you going to take on more work to take time off? Are you going to pay for childcare over that period? What are you going to do?” Rather than flying by the seat of my pants, taking on three massive client projects the week before Easter holidays, and then just hating myself. I wouldn’t recommend that. Hopefully, Louise, you can learn from all our collective fuck-ups.